A year ago, I was a month and half pregnant and not really wanting to believe this was happening again (being pregnant that is). I was still recovering from multiple failed pregnancies, infertility drugs, getting ready to have surgery in February, and the possibility of going thru my first round of IVF, I just started to cry. As I thought about the past six years and all we’d been through, there was a small part of me that was hopeful that maybe this could be the one that could make it thru. Two months prior (December) we decided to try one more time, I had come to terms with the idea that in order for us to be parents, we would be adopting. No longer would I be dealing with infertility, I could stop researching, consulting, worrying, and feeling depressed. I could stop having procedure after procedure that always led to the same conclusion, “we just don’t know, not for sure.” I would never again have to hear, “there’s no heartbeat.” Instead I would be becoming a mother; we would finally be parents, sometime soon. Don’t get me wrong this past year was extremely difficult in not knowing what my next steps were going to look like, to be one of the first patient’s trying this new idea of taking blood thinners (Lovenox) in order to keep a baby, never quite feeling this baby could make it to the end, and on top of all of this moving out of state (3 months before my due date) to embark on a new adventure (which I’m still having a hard time with). But somehow I managed to trust God and finally let myself to fully let go and let God be. It wasn’t easy but it was a daily experience and reminder for me to truly seek and have faith in something that I couldn’t control. As of result of fervent prayers from friends and family, Asher Ericson entered into this world and my life has not been the same since.
Perhaps now I will be a little less skeptical, a little more forgiving, when people discuss miracles since I can’t help but think that I have been blessed by one.
My hope is that not only will I cherish what God has blessed me with, but to cherish the past experiences and what I’ve learned.
Filed under: Infertility, Lovenox, Miscarriages
Hi there! Found your blog through the infertility tags. Just wanted to say that this is a beautiful post – one which I can very much relate to. I am currently on my 3rd IVF and have recently started Lovenox, as well. Infertility stories and happy endings are few and far between…and I’m glad to have read yours. Congratulations on your little blessing, Asher. All the best to you and your family.